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One of those days...

 
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Child_of_God



Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Posts: 20

Post reference link - PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 12:09 am    Post subject: One of those days...
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Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Today has been one of those days of getting bounced back and forth between various conflicting raw and comforting emotions. I guess I just need to share...

My mother passed away Jan. 1st of this year and Iíve had a very difficult time trying to accept that she has died and Iíll never see her again on this earth, never go yard sale shopping again with her or listen to her very rambling long stories about people I never knew or ask her the many, many questions that come up every day. I will never know why she kept a particular pressed flower in her Bible, or who gave it to her nor will I know many of lifeís secrets she had in her heart. Sometimes, I have a difficult time understanding Godís will or our inability to cure cancer or even why I canít make lemon pie like she did.

We are moving into "Mom's" house, albeit somewhat painfully, but moving we are! Our goal is by the end of this month! To say that we are going to have to downsize is certainly an understatement! (Her house is quite small!) My children and I collected way too much stuff, then when Kenneth and I married, we acquired more stuff and then his son moved in with us (with just a little stuff!) and now we've inherited Mom's stuff! Mom grew up in the depression era when you didn't ever, ever throw away anything! REALLY! So for the last 11 months, I've been trying to go through a house full of memories and decide if I can part with any of it. Actually, I've decided that I'm putting most of it in boxes and storing them in the garage. Maybe next spring I'll be able to handle more of the emotion...it's hard enough just being down there and working on the house. So, by the sheer volume of all the "stuff", and the impending move with the very short time limit I'm so overwhelmed, that I'm almost paralyzed! Kenneth has been working so hard painting, remodeling and general fixing that he's exhausted!

So, now we come to today's bouncing! Hospice had a "Memorial Luncheon" for family and friends of those who passed away this year from terminal illnesses. All the nurses, CNA's, social workers and volunteers from Hospice who helped me take care of my Mom were in attendance. I wasn't looking forward to going, as I knew it would be so painful! However, believe it or not, it was "comforting"! Yes, of course, Mom was the main thing on my mind, but instead of thinking about her being gone, I remembered so many of the wonderful moments that I knew about in her life. Special volunteers that Mom and I especially liked came up and hugged me like I was "family" and told me how much they loved my Mom or how much they enjoyed her company or asked about my family. Many of them talked about my Mom's love of flowers and gardening, about her love of TOMATOES, WATERMELON and FRIED OKRA! Many of the volunteers knew "so and so" from down the road that dated my Mom's brother or their great grandmother was Mom's great grandmother's neighbor, and on and on. It was a knowledge that came from talking, remembering and laughing with my Mom. It was a few hours of tears, feelings of loss, but mostly feelings of comfort. So many people share my love for her, and have wonderful memories of her....somehow, it seems to make it easier!

Well, it seems I've rambled and shared enough... God works in so many ways to heal a heart! I'll always miss her...but it's not as painful as it once was!

In God's Love ~ Anna
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Psalm 25:7
Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness' sake, O LORD.
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gramma



Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 38

Post reference link - PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:14 pm    Post subject:
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Dear Sister Ana - Thank you for sharing your heart with us, and it is a blessing to have you here - welcome!

It is awesome how God meets us in the midst of our pain and suffering, and how He brings us through each and every time. Praise God He has just the right people ministering to you in this difficult time. I hope and pray that our precious Lord gives much grace to you and your family as you make this move into your new home.

God Bless,
gramma
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(Psa 96:1) O sing unto the LORD a new song: sing unto the LORD, all the earth.
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